Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
