I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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