At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
