I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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