hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
