I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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