After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
