just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
