The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
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