My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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