He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
