AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
