i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
