try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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