Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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