trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
