Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just gift wrapped bread.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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