I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
