I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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