My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
