The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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