dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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