i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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