Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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