You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
