pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
