I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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