I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
