Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
