I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
