you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
