Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
