yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
