I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
