After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
