So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
