I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
This is the high leading the old right now
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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