Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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