let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
