Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
