First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize