I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i barfeds in our rink
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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