Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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