Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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