wanna go halves on a baby?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
