I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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