I must be too annoying 4 u.
I hate all girls vehemently.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
