Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Randomize
