and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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