I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
