Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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