Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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