Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
