The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
