He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Randomize
