You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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